Since custom orthotics were going to run me $150 out of pocket, I decided to try to fix my feet with arch-building exercises and faux barefootiness. I used the money instead to buy a pair of Vivo Barefoot shoes. It's supposed to be kind of like walking barefoot but with a thin sole to protect you from the elements. I was imagining something akin to a foot condom - mostly protective but thin enough for sensation. I should have just gone back to wearing the shitty thin-soled shoes I already own since I would have ended up with similar and cheaper results. The Vivo soles are still thick enough that their warnings about "building up" to wearing them full time seem kind of silly and I'm not even going to comment on the reflexology b.s. Now maybe that would be true if I used them as running shoes (let's all take a moment to laugh at that idea), but for regular walking, I can't tell much difference between them and my usual summer shoes except that they don't breathe at all and bite my heels if I don't remember to put small bandages on first. In addition, my mismatched feet make them rather uncomfortable. They don't sell half-sizes so I got them in an 8 thinking that 9 would be way too big. Apparently (as I suspected) my left foot is in fact an 8 but my right foot is an 8-1/2 so while one foot relaxing with enough room, the other is all cramped up because my toes touch the end of the shoe.
The internet has led me to believe that a lot of people have feet that aren't the same size, but it offers no solutions other than aesthetic toe lengthening surgery but that's actually geared toward individual toes, not the whole foot. Next pregnancy (if there is one), maybe I will try to hurt the opposite hip so that I end up putting all my weight on my left foot to even them out since I'm pretty sure that's how they got so off this time.